My Grandmother Maria Antonia Margotta Bongo

MY GRANDMOTHER
MARIA ANTONIA MARGOTTA BONGO
By
Roberto Luigi Bongo


My grandmother, as did many grandparents live a hard and difficult life. Life in Calitri, in the province of Avellino in Southern Italy was difficult. The Bongo family lived in a two room stone house with only two windows and a wooden door. No running water or a bathroom were in the house. Of course, even today the house has no electricity. They lived with three children on 11 via Sotto Concezione under the church steps.

The family had to fetch firewood and water every day. They had to get milk and produce from the central market which got their food from the valley below Calitri. A garden was impossible because Calitri is mostly stone. They did raise and kill goats and chickens for their meat products. Their furniture consisted of handmade wooden pieces.

In 1910’ there was a huge earthquake (teramoto) in Calitri. My grandfather, Luigi Bongo already working in Minnesota, sent my grandmother money to come to the USA. After the earthquake, they were living in tents because the house was unsafe. Many Calitrani’s also came to the USA at that time.

She set sail for the USA in August of 1910 from Naples with three children, Guiseppe, Pasquale and Rosa. Her sister in laws family were also on the Hamberg-American steamer the SS Moltke in the hull of that ship. For ten long days, they crossed the ocean in the bilge of the ship. It was hot and dirty conditions in the bilge. They finally arrived in NY but then had the long journey by train to Stevenson, Minnesota.

The winters in Minnesota where long and cold. Grandpa worked in the iron ore mines and Grandma tended to the family in a log cabin with an outhouse behind the house.
What a hardship, but they endured the conditions.

When 3M decided to take their property, they moved to Stamford, Connecticut, where a small colony of Calitrani lived including relatives. The trip was long and difficult. Shortly after I was born in 1940, Grandpa died of a heart aliment and we moved in with Grandma. My dad felt obligated to care for his mother.

My father Anthony worked long hours and my mother Louise worked one half a day. So, I stayed with Grandma and learned from her about family, respect and closeness. She also taught me to count in Italian and I also learned other words from her.

My grandmother was dictated and directed by “I proverbi”. It was that way with Calitrani peasants, especially the women and they brought the wisdom of their sayings with them when they immigrated to the New World.

My Grandmother prepared the meals for us and tended to the huge garden we had. The entire back yard was a garden with tomatoes, peppers, lettuce, peas, basil and parsley to name a few. We also had fruit trees of plums and pears as well as a good grape vine in the backyard. I helped her in the garden and also stood on the picnic table to pick the grapes from the vine.
We also jarred many tomatoes and vinegar peppers with the assistance of the older aunts who came to help.

In Calitri, she prepared foods from scratch as well as now in the USA. She made pasta from scratch. I remember how she cut the linguine in perfect sizes from a flat piece of pasta. This was all done by hand. Nothing went to waste. I think she invented pasta piselli. The pasta from two nights ago was mixed with the peas from last night for tonight’s dinner.
When I went to the bakery for her, I would eat both ends off the Italian bread before I got home.
We couldn’t leave the table until we finished our meal and we all ate together. If your plate wasn’t empty, you got “the look”.

She did break the rules sometimes. No soda or candy were allowed in the house. We drink water, Grandpas red wine or milk only. On occasion, she would hide candy in the hutch and give me a piece. I was not to tell anyone that she gave me this treat. She said I was a good boy and deserved the treat. For soda, we would return bottles and get a Coke on occasion.

My grandmother died when I was still young. I remember waving goodbye to her from the parking lot of the old Stamford Hospital. Children were not allowed to go into hospitals in those days.
She had a tremendous impact on my life. How could this be? I was so young and only knew her for a short time. Why, because her principals were conveyed to me by actions and not just talk. She set the examples that I follow today.

Every Sunday was a ritual. Go to church, visit the cemetery and visit the old people.
Grandma stressed church as an important part of our life. After church, we visited Grandma and Grandpa and other relatives in the cemetery. We stopped to see the old aunts and uncles and had some home made goodies as well. Sometimes, during the week I visited them myself. They knew I respected them so I received respect in return.

I remember thinking, someday I will be old I will gain the admiration of the younger generation.

My Grandmother is my guiding angel. I know she was with me in the Vatican when I made a pilgrimage through the Vatican door and made visits to four other churches. While waiting for confession a beam of light radiated in through a window in the church and shined on me. I visualized Grandma, Grandpa with Mom and Dad peering at me and letting me know of a better life ahead. I shook and cried, knowing they were with me.